I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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