I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
