for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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