I will die if light touches me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
