Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just forgot I was standing up.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
