Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Congratulations! We have a period
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
