But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
