Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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