another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
this boner is exhausting
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
