Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
