I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
