Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
