Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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