I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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