people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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