Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
