Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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