then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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