Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
