That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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