i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
