Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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