so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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