Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.