Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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