Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
