Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
