whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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