there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
