We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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