Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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