Just fell off a train. Bad.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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