# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i barfeds in our rink
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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