i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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