So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
