This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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