I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
