I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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