Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
