: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
