i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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