So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
