On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize