p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sex in the backyard? Check.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
