Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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