david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize