I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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