we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
