my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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