I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
A+ Viking dick
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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