The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you had me at cake vodka
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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