I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
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Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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