tell your sister to shave her snatch
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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