So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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